It’s all sunshine and roses when you’re in the planning phases of a loved-up vacay with your boo. Nothing’s more woah-mantic than picturing long days on the beach in Mexico, researching it’s-so-fancy-I-can’t-believe-it’s-a-hostel hostels in Paris and sorting out a super-cute holiday hashtag for all your saccharine-infused #FollowMeTo Instagram snaps.
But travel with your partner can quickly go bad. It’s not until you’re on the other side of the world that you realise you’re in each other’s pockets 24/7, your S.O. is a stickler for being at least an hour early to the airport/station/bus, and one of you (we’re not saying who) is more into hitting up the nearest worldwide burger chain for breakfast, lunch and dinner rather than tucking into the local food.
From turbulent flights and bumpy roads to missed transfers and ‘I told you not to eat that’ food poisoning incidents, heading on holiday with your honey can be the ultimate relationship test. Here’s how to pass with flying colours:
Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
Communication is fundamental in every relationship, both at home and on the road.
The Spice Girls had it right with their 1996 debut hit. Not about getting with your friend if they wannabe your lover, but about keeping lines of communication open and telling you what they want, and then you telling them what you want.
It’s not about being bossy or demanding, it’s just talking and being upfront and honest. Keen for that quintessential baguette, cheese and red wine at sunset on the banks of the Seine experience in Paris? Can’t quite face another museum visit?
Need a little solo time? Speak up – your boo’s not a mind-reader (unless you’re dating Criss Angel) and keeping quiet on how you’re feeling pretty much guarantees an argument, an epic bad mood, or the worst holiday ever (or all three). Talk, listen, move on.
Compromise is Key
Things are going to pop up on your trip that you won’t be all that into (this is inevitable when you’re travelling with ANYONE).
Your travelling companion might want to eat at the first place you find (even if it seems like the dish of the day is salmonella) whereas you only want to eat at places on your carefully curated list of coolest cafes in [insert city here]. They’d rather wing each day’s activities, while you’re keen to follow a tight itinerary of top spots. They want to stay in 5-star digs while you’d prefer a cheap and cheerful hostel.
Your partner may have different values and ideas and want different things out of your adventure, so take the time to understand and respect this. They might be really into shopping, whereas you’re into sightseeing; they might want to start each day with an early morning walk, but you’re more of a night owl.
Find a way to meet in the middle –getting out of your comfort zone and doing something spontaneous is often much more enjoyable than sticking to rigid schedules. Perhaps avoid eating at establishments that look like they’ll put you in hospital though.
Return of the Map
Fact: when you get lost, you will get tetchy and nerves will fray. Don’t be a hero. Use the map function on your phone and don’t be afraid to ask for directions if you don’t know where you’re going. Nothing breaks up a couple faster than a confident ‘TRUST ME, IT’S THIS WAY’ when you’re headed in the complete wrong direction.
Hang Out With Other Travellers
An awesome thing about booking a tour and heading away on a group trip is that there are always other people around to hang out with. As much as you love each other’s company, it’s really nice to be able to duck off for a stroll or go on a market run with someone else every so often. Even if you travel independently there are still lots of ways to socialise with others, from hotels, to booking activities in the destinations you go.
Good, Bad, Ugly
The best thing about travelling with a partner is sharing truly incredible, once-in-a-lifetime moments together: watching the sun rise above Machu Picchu after trekking the Inca Trail in Peru, riding a camel across the Sahara in Africa and spending the night in a desert Berber camp in the Middle East, learning to dance the salsa in a steamy backstreet bar with a crowd of locals after too many mezcals in Oaxaca…
But sometimes the most memorable times can stem from the worst experiences, like coming down with altitude sickness on your first day in Cuzco, getting robbed on a train in Delhi, getting food poisoning after eating I-don’t-even-know-what at that hipster vegan café in Bali.
Don’t get me wrong, we wouldn’t wish any of these events on anyone (especially you and your boo!), but going through a tumultuous experience is a sure-fire way to bring you closer together.
If you can get through projectile vomiting, lost passports, injury, illness or theft, you can get through just about anything.
More Tips
A few other things to help you achieve couple goals on the road:
Read a book together. Out loud. Sounds dorky, but trust me.
In a similar vein, make a playlist together. Start it before your trip, and add to it whenever you’re in a wifi hotspot. Then you can be the ultimate cuties and listen to it on shared headphones on long bus journeys.
Invest in a deck of cards and learn some card games, ala Gin Rummy and Speed. Again, sounds dorky, is actually great.
And lastly, don’t sweat the small stuff. Things will go wrong. It’s all part of the experience, just. work it out.
Hopefully our guide to some top tips to keep a strong and healthy relationship whilst on the road will help you. If you would like to travel with a partner, whether a round the world backpacking adventure, to a gap year, or volunteering abroad – there are lots of amazing things to do. Check out our website for inspiration.